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There is no joke like that, it is impossible. It cannot happen in the very nature of things because a joke can be laughed at only when you hear it for the first time. You cannot laugh at it for the rest of your life, unless you are so stupid, so utterly stupid, that each time you hear it you have completely forgotten that you have heard it before. And you will be telling it to yourself because who is going to tell it to you your whole life? I can tell you only once, then you will have to tell it to yourself. Either you have to be utterly stupid or mad!

I have heard about a man who was sitting in a waiting room on a railway station, and the train was late – as Indian trains always are. In India they say the timetable exists so that you can know how late the train is. Otherwise how will you know how late it is? Late it is going to be! And in India they say a ticket is valid for twenty-four hours. It is valid for twenty-four hours because nobody knows when the train will come. If it comes in twenty-four hours, that too is a miracle.

So he was waiting, sitting in his chair, and the other people in the waiting room were getting a little bit puzzled. Finally one person became so curious he could not contain his curiosity. He said, “Sir, I should not interfere, but what is going on?” – because the man was sitting there with closed eyes, his lips were moving. Sometimes he would giggle and sometimes he would frown, sometimes he would laugh loudly and sometimes he would make a gesture with his hands as if he is throwing something away. What was going on?

The man asked, “What are you doing? It is none of our business and we should not interfere, and it is absolutely private what you are doing, but excuse me, if you can enlighten me a little bit?”
The man said, “There is nothing private about it – I am telling jokes to myself!”
The man said, “That’s… That I can understand. Sometimes you giggle and you laugh loudly – you must be having fun. But sometimes you frown and you make such ugly face and you throw something, push away something by your hands.”
He said, “Yes, when I hear a joke that I have heard before!”

He is telling jokes to himself!

Now, one joke for your whole life? It has never happened! You can only laugh at the first time because the whole art, the secret of a joke is the unexpected ending. That is the whole secret – the unexpected turn. The joke first moves in a certain line, and then takes such an unexpected turn that logically you are shocked for a moment. You were moving along with the joke expecting certain things to happen, and then what happens is not the logical thing. Something illogical happens – and it is the illogical that makes the joke beautiful, that makes you burst into laughter.

Logic is not fun, it is a serious thing. When you start hearing a joke, of course your mind starts functioning logically. You start expecting logically that this is going to happen, this is going to happen, and then something comes at the end that you could not have imagined. It is so illogical, so ridiculous. It is so absurd!The shock… The whole energy was going in one direction, mounting up to a climax, and then suddenly everything goes berserk. The whole energy explodes into laughter. It is a certain tension that is released. The logic creates tension and the joke releases it. That is the punch line which does the trick.

But this can happen only once. If you know the punch line, then it is very difficult for you to enjoy it because you will be expecting it. You already know it, now it has become part of your logic. So there cannot be any mounting energy, there cannot be any tension, you will sit relaxed.

A man entering middle age had been bothered for some time by his prick. It had grown very crooked and had sprouted warts and hairs in the most inappropriate places. His condition had worsened over the years and he decided to seek medical advice.
The local doctor examined his tool thoroughly and stated that amputation was the only possibility for a specimen such as his.
The poor fellow went to another doctor for a second opinion. He also gave the thing a very thorough examination, then stated that it had to come off.
Now in a state of panic, the man went to a specialist for a final opinion. The specialist examined the prick at length, leaned back in his armchair for a while in contemplation then said, “No, sir, I think that amputation is unnecessary.” The patient sighed with relief. “Yes,” continued the doctor, “in no time at all, it will fall off by itself!”

Enough for today.