412

Truth cannot be transferred, truth cannot be handed over to you by somebody else, because it is not a commodity. It is not a thing, it is an experience. In fact, the word experience is not exactly the right word. It will be truer to say that it is an experiencing; this is the first thing to be understood.

I have to use language which is already there, created by the centuries, with all kinds of fallacies in it – obviously. Language is created for day-to-day use, language is created for the mundane world; as far as it goes, it is good. It is perfectly adequate for the marketplace, but as you start moving into deeper waters it becomes more and more inadequate – not only inadequate, it starts becoming utterly wrong.

For example, think of these two words, experience and experiencing. When you use the word experience it gives you a sense of completion, as if something has come to a completion, as if the full stop has arrived. In life there are no full stops.

Life knows nothing of full stops; it is an ongoing process, an eternal river. The goal never arrives; it is always arriving, but it never arrives. Hence the word experience is not right. It gives a false notion of completion, perfection; it makes you feel as if now you have arrived. experiencing is far more true.

In reference to true life all nouns are wrong, only verbs are true.

When you say, “This is a tree,” you are making a wrong statement existentially. Not linguistically, not grammatically, but existentially you are making a wrong statement, because the tree is not a static thing, it is growing. It is never in a state of isness, it is always becoming. In fact to call it a tree is not right: it is treeing. A river is rivering.

If you look deep into life, nouns start disappearing, and there are only verbs. But that will create trouble in the marketplace. You cannot say to people, “I went to the rivering,” or, “This morning I saw a beautiful treeing.” They will think you have gone mad.

Nothing is static in life, nothing is at rest. A great scientist, Eddington, is reported to have said that the word rest has no corresponding reality to it, because nothing is ever at rest, everything is moving. It is all movement.

So let me say that truth is an experience in the sense of experiencing. You can never declare, you can never claim “I have it.” You can only be humble about it – “It is happening” – and then you will not be deceived.

The deception comes because you start claiming “I have it.” Then the ego arises saying, “I have the truth. Only I have the truth, nobody else does. I have arrived.” And the ego raises its head.

Truth is an experiencing. You cannot claim it, it is very mercurial. If you want to grab it, it will disappear from your fist. You can have it only with an open hand, not with a fist. When you make a noun out of it, you are trying to grab it in a fist; it will disappear. Let it remain a verb. Don’t say, “I have arrived.” Simply say, “The pilgrimage has started. I am a pilgrim, I am moving.”

If the ego does not arise, nobody can deceive you. That is the second thing to be remembered. It is always the ego that deceives and is deceived. If you don’t have any ego, there is no possibility of you ever being deceived. But if you have the ego, then others will deceive you. What to say of others? – you will deceive yourself.

The ego is the fundamental deception; don’t help it to grow in you, don’t nourish it. And the greatest thing that nourishes it is experiences, particularly spiritual experiences. You have seen Christ, you have seen Buddha; you have seen kundalini rising in your spine, the serpent uncoiling; you have seen great light, you have seen a lotus flowering inside your head, you have seen the heart chakra opening, and all that crap – beautiful sounding words, but only fools are deceived by them.

If fools disappear from the world, all esotericism will disappear. There will be great poetry, but no esotericism in it. There will be immense mystery, but no esotericism in it.

The third thing is that whenever you have some experience – spiritual or otherwise, wise or otherwise – whenever you have some experience, remember, you are not it. It is a content in consciousness – and all contents have to be dropped. Only then does the mind disappear. The mind is nothing but all the contents together; the accumulation of contents is the mind.

Just look, watch. What is your mind? What is meant by the word mind? What exactly does it consist of?

All your experiences, knowledge, the past, accumulated: that is your mind. You may have a materialist’s mind, you may have a spiritualist’s mind, it doesn’t matter a bit; the mind is the mind. The spiritual mind is as much a mind as the materialist mind. And we have to go beyond the mind.

Don’t trust in the content – watch it, and let it pass.

And yes, sometimes the content is so tremendously enchanting, so hypnotizing, that one would like to cling to it. When spiritual, so-called spiritual experiences start happening, it is really very tempting – more tempting than anything in the world. When you see great light inside, it is so tempting to cling to it, to claim, “I have arrived” – or at least to believe deep inside yourself, “I have arrived. While everybody else is groping in darkness, light has happened to me.”

This is just a new kind of darkness, because you are again being caught, trapped, by the content.

These two things have to be remembered: the content and the consciousness. The consciousness never becomes content, and the content never becomes consciousness. The consciousness is a pure mirror, it only reflects.

Now, what does it matter to the mirror whether a beautiful woman is standing before it, or an ugly woman? Do you think it matters? Do you think the mirror starts thinking of clinging to the reflection of a beautiful woman – Sophia Loren? “Don’t let her go, cling.” Or do you think the mirror feels very repulsed if some ugly woman is there? It doesn’t matter. What does it have to do with the mirror?

The mirror remains unaffected; it simply goes on reflecting whatsoever is the case. If it is darkness it reflects darkness, if it is morning it reflects morning. If somebody is dead it reflects death. If a child starts giggling, laughing, jumping, it reflects that. A roseflower is reflected with the same quality as it reflects a thorn; no distinction is made.

This state is really spiritual.

You ask me: [How to distinguish between these cases of unconscious self-delusion and the real thing?]

The real thing never appears as a thing. The real thing is not a thing, the real thing is the mirrorlike consciousness. Always remember, always and always: “I am the witness.” Don’t get identified with any content, otherwise you will be falling into error. If you become identified with any content, howsoever beautiful and spiritual it appears, you have gone wrong, you have gone astray.

And the temptation is certainly great. What to say when inside you see a great melody arising – anahat, the soundless sound, the sound of one hand clapping? It is such a beautiful experience, one would like to be drowned in it for ever and ever. Or when suddenly inside, fragrances are released…

And remember, whatsoever can happen outside can happen inside too, because each sense has two doors to it, and each sense has two potential possibilities. One is for the outside, the other is for the inside. Your eyes can see light and colors and rainbows and the clouds and the stars outside; and your eyes have another aspect: the other side of your eyes.

If you close your eyes and learn how to see within, you will be surprised. A far more beautiful sky opens its doors for you. A far more unbelievably beautiful world welcomes you; it has great splendor. You could never have imagined that things could ever be so beautiful. Stones turn into diamonds. Naturally, one would like to cling. Great treasures are there; one would like to hoard them. And there is nobody to compete with you; you are alone, and the whole kingdom is yours.

And just as your nose has the capacity to smell beautiful flowers, it has an inner capacity too. Once you turn in, you will come to smell such fragrances that are not of this world – and it is very natural to be caught by them.

But all these experiences are hindrances, obstacles. The real seeker when he moves inward has to be more alert than he has ever been on the outside. He has to be really alert not to be caught by anything.

And I am not saying don’t enjoy. Enjoy – but remember that you are not it. Enjoy, it is your right to enjoy – but remember: “I am the witness of it all.” If that witnessing is remembered, you will never be “goofed,” you will never be deceived. Otherwise you can be deceived again and again.

To summarize: the spiritual experience is not an experience, but experiencing. Second, experiencing is a content; and you are not the content, you are just a mirror. If this much is remembered, then there is no pitfall for you. Then your path is straight.